phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
