butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
