There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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