we have officially lost it.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
