Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
