everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
