just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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