I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
