12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think i have two assholes
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
