Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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