if i died would you start the facebook group?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
BRING THE BAGELS
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You were trust falling into bushes
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
