Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
