You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
