well you can't waste a boner
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize