Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
