I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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