i think my tv is drunk
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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