I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
