Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
