i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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