He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
