Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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