I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
