I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
