I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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