I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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