i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
