hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize