We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
