im six kinds of drunk right now
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
