Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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