If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
