I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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