She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
