First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
