spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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