So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
