Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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