Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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