before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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