Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
