No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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