Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
