At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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