8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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