Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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