it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
