She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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