You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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