went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
