I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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