hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
