Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
