she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
