They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
