Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My vagina is officially offended.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
