I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
