this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
