Got a toothbrush?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
