I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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