Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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