If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
