I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
