We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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