Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
