Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
