we have pet lesbian snakes
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize