You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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