i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
