1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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