I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
