Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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