It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
