its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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